Tsunade's Bad Habits
by Dreamer105
Summary: Exactly why does Tsunade have such a big chest? How did she get addicted to gambaing & sake? And what's Jiraiya got to do with any of it? A OneShot on the famous Sanin. Set when they were younger.


Okay don't hate me. I know I should be working on Cold Spot and I am, but this was just annoying me so much that it had to be written. I love Tsunade and I find Jiraiya hilarious. I think they would make such an amusing couple. Yet, when I looked for fics on them I only found a few good ones. So I decided what the heck I'd write my own. And I did. Only took me an hour and a half too.

So here's my take on Tsunade's bad habits and how she got them. Enjoy.

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Tsunade sighed and took a huge gulp from her 10th cup of sake. She was at Konoha's local bar once again; drinking and watching Jiraiya chasing women. She rolled her eyes as he sat down next to a busty brunette and began to chat her up.

Stupid Pervert. When would he grow up and look past big boobs? Did he even care if the girl was a total bitch?

Tsunade snorted. Who was she kidding? He could care less about personality as long as they were big chested and were willing to jump into bed with him.

Besides, it's wasn't like he stuck around to get to know them. Frowning, she looked down at her own chest. Even after she had hit puberty her chest was still as flat as a pancake. An annoying fact that the idiot loved to point out at every opportunity.

Tsunade drained her cup in one swig. Stupid Pervert. She refilled her cup and emptied it again. A little buzzed after 11 cups of sake, Tsunade glanced over at Jiraiya and the brunette, a scowl appearing as she noticed thier positions. When the hell did they get so intimate?

Jiraiya's hand was currently resting on the woman's thigh and the bimbo was practically in his lap. Tsunade felt her heart give a painful thump. Looks like he had finally found his conquest for the night. The kunoichi's mouth twisted upward in an amused, but slightly bitter smile. And only after 6 rejections too…

Tsunade quickly tore her gaze from the all too familiar scene to stare down at her also familar empty sake cup. She quickly filled it up again and drained it just as fast trying to erase the memory of Jiraiya and the brunette skank.

But, unfortunately for Tsunade, she hadused this remedy so many times, that her tolerance for alcohol was so high, she could probably take on the most experienced drinker in Konoha and drink him under the table.

She heard the brunette giggle and felt her grip involuntarily tighten on the cup, cracking it. Cursing softly, she carelessly threw the cup over her shoulder and picked up the sake jug. She took a swig.

Damn that playboy. You'd think someone so good at reconnaissance and spy work would be able to see what was right under his nose? Tsunade let out a bitter laugh at the thought.

Why the hell would he even bother noticing? A flat-chested girl like her? Hah! In her dreams! Which, Tsunade admitted silently to herself as she took another gulp, was exactly what happened.

Night after night he would say that it didn't matter how big her chest, she was still the most beautiful girl in Konoha, inside and out, and that he loved her. It drove Tsunade crazy. She was half-tempted to find some kind a jutsu to eliminate dreams, but at the same time she knew she would never use the jutsu even if she did find one. Damn her heart!

Why the hell did she even like him in the first place? He always made fun of her, goofed off whenever he could, sneaking into the womens' hot springs to peep every chance he got, chased after women every night…and yet he was always there when she needed him.

He helped her with her little brother when she didn't know how to handle him or Nawaki needed to talk about guy things. Jiraiya also helped pay the bills for the big house her parents' had left her on time when the money she got from missions wasn't enough. Granted he usually got it by winning money from gambling, but whatever works right? She would have done it herself, but she sucked at gambaling, and though Tsunade loved to bet on things and was sure with time she would improve with time, bills did have to be payed in the meantime. And despite making fun of and teasing her all the time, he was always there to comfort and reassure her when her self-confindence took a hit because she screwed up on a mission and someone got hurt or she and Nawaki got in a fight over something stupid.

However, despite all their close moments, he never once hit on her. He sweet-talked (or tried to) almost every female he met but, never once had he asked her out or even made so much as a pass on her!

Tsunade finished the jug and set it down with a loud 'thud'. She was contemplating whether or not to buy another one, on Jiraiya of course, when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She twisted around to find a grinning Jiraiya and the brunette draped all over him.

"I'm leaving for the night, see ya tomorrow at practice Tsunade." Mutely, Tsunade nodded and watched them walk out the door disappearing into the night.

After they had left, Tsunade angrily called for another jug, intent on drinking herself into oblivion yet again. She had just uncorked the jug, when an idea hit to her.

If Jiraiya liked big breasts so much why not use a jutsu to give her self the biggest chest he had ever seen? Tsunade knew it would take time, but she was skilled with Genjutsu and Jutsu and knowledgeable about the human body…

Slowly, a happy and satisfied grin began to form over Tsunade's face. 'Just you wait, you idiot, someday I'll make you sorry for not noticing. One way or another…'

And with that Tsunade proceeded to get smashingly drunk.

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What'cha think? Does it sound reasonable?


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